No one person has all the answers.
—Peter Charles Goldsmith—
My dad was the first person to teach me about confidence. One of the things he stressed was that he
(or I) couldn’t possibly know it all. He believed in getting feedback from those around him in order to
make the best decision for everyone involved. Having good people to go to can’t help but make you more selfconfident. With that in mind, I decided to ask some of my favorite authors what they learned from their dads.
Here’s what they told me.
• “My father taught me to be a man of my word. He lived by example. Even though there were
many times we were in conflict as I grew up, I have to hand it to him, he always kept his word.
He would say, ‘Don’t give your word unless you intend to keep it,’ and ‘A man’s word is like a
contract.’” —Stephen Trudeau, Psy.D., co-host of “Emotional Fitness” (KCLU/NPR)
• “When my father was dying, he requested that his caregiver read him chapters from my first
book, Second Sight, which was about my life.
That my father wanted to hear this in his last hours and minutes touched my heart and taught
me about the poignancy of father-daughter love.
I still feel his love in my life today.” —Judith Orloff, MD, author of Emotional Freedom
• “My dad’s father died when he was 12, of tuberculosis. He had no life insurance, and his wife and six children were in deep trouble. They had a difficult time surviving, and yet many years later, I heard my dad say, ‘My father dying when I was 12 was one of the best things that ever happened to me.’ I asked him how he could say that, and he answered, ‘It taught me about what was important in life and that money was to help make people’s lives easier.’” —Bernie Siegel, MD, author of Faith, Hope & Healing
• “My dad taught me the value of commitment. He was committed to his vocation, his faith, and his
wife—my mother. He never talked much about any of these, but his example greatly influenced
my life. I believe that commitment is the glue that holds life together, especially through the tough times.” —Gary D. Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages
• “My father is a role model for me: He has taught me tolerance and empathy, but also perseverance
and, above all, to apply yourself to every situation. In this way, he has prepared me for the complexities of life, and I owe him a great debt.” —Susan Shapiro Barash, author of Second Wives
• “I learned from my father to never trust anyone who begins a sentence with the words ‘to tell
you the truth,’ and that the greatest gift a father can give to his children is to love their mother.” —Allan J. Hamilton, MD, author of The Scalpel and the Soul
• “One of the most precious gifts my father gave me was demonstrating that love includes being
of service in the world and that attaining worldly success need not require sacrificing ethics or integrity.” —Dr. David Gruder, author of The New IQ
• “My father was a role model who taught me to be ready to give my all to others. One day he was up on our roof repairing shingles when our neighbor accidently caught on fire. My dad jumped off the roof, pushed his neighbor down and rolled him over to help put out the flames!” —Dr. Diana Kirschner, author of Love in 90 Days
• “My dad taught me the importance of making a decision and committing to it. He also taught me that you should reassess your decisions on a regular basis and have the courage to admit that it’s time to change course. The secret is in the commitment and the follow-through. Never let indecision make the decision for you.” —Peter Walsh, author of It’s All Too Much
Indeed, we have much to learn from our fathers. Even if you’re on the outs with your papa, he did teach you a thing or two. No matter what happens, those lessons will always be with you.
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