When you engage in systematic, purposeful action, using
and stretching your abilities to the maximum, you cannot
help but feel positive and confident about yourself.
—Brian Tracy
There is a scene at the end of Saving Private Ryan in which the aged, rescued soldier tearfully asks his wife if he has lived a good life. Knowing that we have left the world a little better than we found it is the essence of self-worth and real happiness. Not the kind you get from a trip to Disneyworld, but from knowing deep inside of yourself that you’ve made a difference.
Don’t underestimate it. The power of contribution, of being part of something that adds to the fabric of your community or the world, is a very healing action for everyone involved. It results in improved emotional health and stronger relationships, and it helps to build your internal 401k. You may not make actual cash, but you are investing in your self-worth, and that generally pays better dividends.
Living a good life doesn’t mean that you have to be Volunteer of the Year, and it doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice things you love or need. It means that you listen to your inner voice when it tells you that you have the ability to help someone in need. Most of us can’t pack up our lives and go to Africa to assist with relief efforts, but I think we all have the ability to do a little something and give those less fortunate a hand (versus a handout). Right now, giving money may not be possible, but you can offer your ideas, emotional support, and perhaps your personal e-mail list. Finding ways to get others involved is also a good use of your efforts, and it may be just the excuse you need to reconnect with some old friends.
When a worthy cause touches my heart, I have a short list of people I call to ask for assistance (usually a donation), and that way I can make a slightly larger impact. It may seem counterintuitive, but these folks actually welcome the calls. They, like many of us, want to be part of the solution, simply because it feels good to know you have made a difference.
Our sense of self is enhanced when we give to others. It generates brain chemicals that actually reduce depression and anxiety, as well as increase our capacity for joy. I have seen many a curmudgeon smile at the fact that they have given a person they may never see again a reason to hope. When you are struggling or just feeling down, the smallest offering from a stranger can make a big difference in your life. If you’ve ever been there, you know.
Living a good life isn’t about how much you give; it’s about giving in a way that will mean something to you. It doesn’t have to be money or material. Sometimes the most valuable things you can offer are a kind word and an outstretched hand.
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